i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
the day after is always just damage control
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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