Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
