her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
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I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
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Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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