definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
