I smell stomach acid.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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