He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
