so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
