you traded sex for a burrito?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize