Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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