She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
only if we run a train.
done.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
