There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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