I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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