I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize