This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
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Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize