Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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