i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
