Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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