what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I need water and some morals
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
