kristin has been a bad kristin
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
