Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
