how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
