I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
