did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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