I'm really into asian looking animals
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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