Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
