it was like eating out sand paper
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
