I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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