Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
