NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
