i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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