i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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