I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
