Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
