You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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