did you get engaged???
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
