he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
where are you?
Hypothermia
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
