its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
