Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
