Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
we should paint friendship bongs
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