My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
