Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
