Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
