I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
