he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
