What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
