Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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