Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
