You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
