I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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