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can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
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