I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are