Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now