Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I need to sanitize my soul.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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