But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
with your own penis?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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