My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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