why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize