I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
