Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I supernannyed him into submission
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
