I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
