"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
