her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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